Let’s Get This Out of the Way: I’m Lazy
Yeah, yeah. I know what you’re thinking. “Dave, you’re a health writer, how can you be lazy?” Look, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I’m some kind of fitness guru. I’m 42, live in Portland, and my idea of cardio is speed-walking to the coffee shop. But even I know that eating junk all the time isn’t gonna cut it. So, about three months ago, I decided to give this meal prepping thing a shot.
I had this friend, let’s call him Marcus. Marcus is one of those people who’s always in shape, always eating “clean,” always making me feel bad about myself. One day, over coffee at the place on 5th, he’s like, “Dave, you gotta try meal prepping. It’s a game-changer.” (See? Even fit people use those stupid phrases.)
Week One: The Optimistic Phase
So, I did what any self-respecting lazy person would do—I Googled “easy meal prep for dummies.” Found this recipe for chicken, rice, and broccoli. Seemed simple enough. I spent like $87 at the store, bought a bunch of Tupperware, and got to work.
It was… okay. I mean, it’s not like I was eating pizza every night, but it wasn’t exactly gourmet either. The worst part? Cleaning up. Who knew chopping vegetables could create so much mess? There were bits of carrot everywhere. It was like a crime scene in my kitchen.
Week Two: The Reality Check
By week two, I was already feeling the burn. Not the good kind of burn, either. The “I’m gonna quit before I even really start” kind of burn. I had this moment of weakness last Tuesday. I was starving, and there was this leftover lasagna in the fridge. I ate it. All of it. In one sitting.
Marcus called me out on it. “Dave, you’re not committment to this,” he said. Which… yeah. Fair enough. But honestly, who can resist lasagna?
Week Three: The “I Can Do This” Phase
I decided to give it another shot. This time, I planned ahead. I bought a bunch of snacks to keep me from cheating. Almonds, granola, that kinda thing. I even found this great deal on best online shopping deals 2026 for a vegetable chopper. (Spoiler: It didn’t change my life.)
I also started making meals that actually tasted good. Spicy shrimp stir-fry, quinoa salad with avocado—fancy stuff. I felt like a whole new person. I was even starting to enjoy cooking. Who knew?
A Digression: The Time I Burnt My Kitchen Down
Okay, so maybe “burnt my kitchen down” is a bit dramatic. But I did set off the fire alarm. It was this one time, I was making stir-fry, and I think I used too much oil. Or maybe the pan was too hot. Or maybe I just suck at cooking. Either way, my apartment smelled like a grease fire for days. My neighbor, let’s call her Linda, knocked on my door to make sure I was okay. “Dave,” she said, “are you trying to kill us all?”
I laughed it off, but honestly, it was kinda embarrassing. I mean, I’m a grown man. I should be able to cook without setting off alarms.
Week Four: The “I’m Never Doing This Again” Phase
By week four, I was over it. I was tired of planning, tired of cooking, tired of cleaning. I just wanted to order a pizza and call it a night. But then I had this realization: I actually felt better. I had more energy, my clothes fit a little looser, and I wasn’t constantly feeling guilty about what I ate.
So, I kept at it. Not every day, not perfectly, but enough to make a difference. And honestly, that’s the point, isn’t it? It’s not about being perfect. It’s about making small changes that add up to something bigger.
So, yeah. That’s my meal prepping story. It’s not glamorous, it’s not revolutionary, but it’s mine. And if I can do it, anyone can.
About the author: Dave is a health writer based in Portland. He’s been writing about wellness, fitness, and nutrition for over 20 years. He’s also a self-proclaimed “lazy health writer” who’s always looking for the easiest way to stay healthy. When he’s not writing, you can find him speed-walking to the coffee shop or burning down his kitchen.
